Are you able to accept "no" for an answer

It's Project Review day at the office. You are sitting in a conference room surrounded by the Project Manager, a few of the technical leads, the Marketing VP/Director, HW/SW Directors and a few others. Your purpose of the meeting is to discuss the project status. The project has been running behind, and you are looking for commitments by the Project Manager and team to keep the release date in tact, and even accelerate it. There's a lot of pressure from Sales to get this out the door. It's quite simple, really. You are merely looking for the words "Yes, we can do that".

Over the course of the next hour you get agitated, angry and bewildered at the number of excuses why the project is late. You stress the importance of meeting this commitment, how company revenues depend on it, and the teams' reputation is at stake. Finally, you hear the magic words, "ok, we'll get it done". You leave the meeting not entirely satisfied. It was more of a battle than you anticipated. But you feel good you eventually managed them to see it your way. Now you can concentrate on another fire in your to-do list.

Many of you leading development teams probably faced this situation numerous times. In the end, did the project conclude as you expected ? There's a plethora of dynamics happening here. Let's briefly look at both sides of the table - What you want to hear, and what the Project Manager (and team) want to say.

First you - A good leader, mentor, coach and of course the executive responsible for the projects success. You challenge your team to meet goals, motivate them to perform above expectations, stress the importance of customer commitment and satisfaction. In this environment, it is imperative to push the right buttons. So, what happens when your Project Manager responds with "no", or the many variations of "no"; "That will be a challenge", "I'm not sure we can make up that amount of time", "Are you kidding"?

Here's the key - your first reaction will set the tone for the remainder of the discussion. At this pivotal moment you will set the tone in one of two ways;

1. an atmosphere to tell the boss what he wants to hear; or
   
2. an atmosphere to solve the problem together
   

Which would you rather have? If you picked number 1, you can stop reading !

But, if you would rather solve the problem, use the collective skills of your team to determine the best course of action, analyze what the core issues are and attack those, then consider yourself a better leader than you thought. Your job at this moment is to ask great questions, listen, analyze. Trust me, the Project Manager wants to meet the commitment just as much as you do. But it's up to you to lead the way. And, of equal importance, for you to acknowledge the problems and challenges in attaining that goal.

Now, here's what' transpiring from the other side of the table. Rick Brenner has written a great essay; Saying "No": A Tutorial for Project Managers. He analyzes why people would rather say yes to something they inherently believe is "mission impossible" - Fear of losing their job, being passed over for a promotion, etc. The bottom line is that fear, and an environment of retribution, forces a culture of "yes men". I hope you would agree this is not good for the team, you or the company.

Executives create culture. How we act, talk and respond to these situations is a legacy carried forward and inherited by the workforce. Give some careful thought today on the legacy you have left behind in that meeting room.

Use the power of "no" to your advantage; use it as the catalyst to solving the problem. This may not get you the release date you were after, or all of the features, but you will be creating stronger teams that believe in you as the leader. And that results in a workforce willing to go the extra mile. And those are the teams that accomplish great things.

\Mike